Friday, March 20, 2015

♥ Courtney Beth Loves ♥

I love and equally loathe the internet. It's such an amazing way to connect to other people, spread important news, share and inspire - the pros go on and on. Then there are other really shitty ways that people abuse it and it makes me wish I could throw my devices into the toilet, shit on them, move to the woods and never have any human interaction again. But how could I throw away being able to watch a cat video whenever I wanted? Or being able to get a pizza delivered to my front door with the touch of my fingers? Or being able to make people from all around the world laugh with my dumb humour? Or being able to like people's hot selfies to let them know I fully support what they have goin' on? Or being able to keep up with super important discoveries like this? Or more importantly, being able to watch a cat video WHENEVER I WANTED?

I'm feeling a bit down tonight so, in an attempt to cheer me up I thought I'd share some of my current favourite things with you!

It's art you wouldn't understand

Look, I'mma let you finish but berlin-artparasites is definitely, without a doubt my absolute favourite facebook page of ALL TIME. Of all time. If you're friends or follow me on facebook you already know that since I'm constantly sharing their posts. I love art so hard. I especially love art that makes you feel something. I love art that cuts open your chest, crushes your ribcage, rips out your heart, slices it in half and violently smooshes salt into it. IT HURTS SO GOOD.

People who don't understand satire need to be euthanised sorry

A very important cause close to my heart, Christians Against Drugs. They are doing the Lords work and are spreading the message of how evil and dangerous injecting marijuana truly is. Remember, before you can enter heaven, Jesus has to enter you.

Jus make it Reign on me pls

I'm not lying when I say I have watched one of his videos 20 times in a row (and still continue to watch it frequently because it makes me laugh so much). I am so in love with him. He's funny, cute, has the voice of my future husband and that beard thooooo.


This definitely goes without saying but I'm going to say it anyway - Mel Stringer! My favourite artist since I discovered her way back when. She recently drew a pic of me for her Oh You Yearbook which she is currently working on! So excited.

Yaaaaassss

I follow TONS of makeup artists on instagram but these ladies (Caty, Loretta, Sarah) are my favourites - every time I see their photos as I scroll down my feed, I look to the sky and shed a single tear. I quadruple tap those photos. Thank you Universe for these ethereal beings. They are all so unbelievably talented, lovely and super beautiful.

I luv u 5eva

Kendrick Lamar's new album has been on repeat, I love it so much. I just love everything he makes. I love him. Favourite songs are definitely King Kunta & Complexion (A Zulu Love). Go buy it. NOW.

Other favourite songs at the moment are:

Landfill by Daughter
Still by Daughter
In Between by Beartooth
You Haunt Me by Sir Sly (and also the Amtrac Remix)
Too Much Time Together by San Cisco
Cherry Wine by Hozier

God damn I love music. I have so many more songs I love but this post would never end!!

spoopy

This Ouija jacket by Hell Bunny bought from Atomic Cherry.

woops one dollar for the swear jar

This crop top by asos and bought from asos!!

FAV 5EVA

REAL TALK Glam & Gore/Mykie is my fucking favourite make up artist in the entire history of existence. She is knowledgeable, creative, cute as fuck and every one of her videos is filmed amazingly which I really appreciate. I feel like she is so underrated but I will probably always think that since I think so highly of her. She just seems like an all round super super incredible human being. She inspires me in so many ways and if you're not already following her then you're wrong and I hate you.

yessss

My insides melt every time Helen uploads a vlog because I absolutely love them. The way she films them is so much more than what you'd expect from a vlog on youtube. The music, candid shots, details like steam from a kettle UGH YEs so visually pleasing to my eyeballs. Plus she's living my dream life so I'm living through her vlogs lmao. #letsbereal

Other things I'm currently loving:

♥ sushi (always)
♥ the fact that dicksbymail.com exists
♥ my weird faded pastel hair colour that seems to be getting tons of compliments
♥ coconut oil!!
♥ the feeling in the cold breeze that autumn is finally arriving (fuk u summer)
♥ bright, bold lipstick like Nars Schiap! I always seem to forget I own it and fall back in love every time
Tiahn Write (a better blog than mine ever will be)
♥ this super hilarious zine poking fun at beauty mags
♥ Buzzfeed videos!! I have fallen in love with everyone in them
♥ the colour pastel mint
this super amazing facebook page even tho it's not posting any more
♥ aloe vera juice
♥ YOU because you read this far I love you so much

I didn't realise how long it would take to make this post because now it's 3:12am but the upside is is that I'm so damn tired I've forgotten what I was sad about so yay. Feel free to suggest posts you would like to see in the future!!

♥♥♥ Courtney


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

♥ Lime Crime - What Do I Do Now? ♥

If you haven't been blind and living under a heavy pile of honest indie cosmetic brands, you are already well aware of the shit going down with Lime Crime (what's new tho amirite?). I have been following their deplorable business practices for years and years after reading about them on the web. I first discovered and fell in love with Doe Deere after seeing a photo of her. She had a beautiful whimsical, fairytale look that was super endearing to me - and evidently, many others. However, as someone who had zero social life and spent too much time on the internet - it didn't take long for me to find out what was beneath that glittery unicorny front. (Read about it here and here. This post will make more sense if read up on it first!)

I was also someone who was just getting really, really into makeup and the cute sparkly packaging pulled me in. I was well aware of their shady history before purchasing three of their lipsticks - but I wanted to try them myself... aaaand I just wanted to have something as cute as Lime Crime sitting in my tiny collection. After recent incidents, I'm very thankful that I am an impatient bitch and that I bought from an Australian based online store. I regretfully purchased three shades: Babette, Serpentina & Poisonberry. I loved the packaging and I loved the smell... and that was it. The quality of these lipsticks are damn awful. The worst was Babette which was so gross, I ended up giving away. The best was Serpentina but only because it was a unique metallic emerald shade. They were definitely not worth the money and while I was disappointed, I was not shocked.

The fuck is this

So that leads us to the reason for this post! What the fuck do we do with these products now!? Obviously the first thing would be to continue to use them, especially if you had bought them with your hard earned cash. However, if you do not want to support Lime Crime in any way, shape or form even if that means to stop using their products, I have some ideas for you!

♥ Decoration!
Yo dawg I heard you like trash so we put trash in yo trash

Decorate your regular trash with sparkly trash!

♥ Cat toys!

So much fun

Why spend money on cat toys when you can chuck this hard plastic at them? Cats also love burying their shit, this will give them the same pleasure but without the toxic smell!! Everyone wins.

♥ Bottle Cap!
Genius!

Did you drunkenly lose the lid to your seventh bottle of half drunken cheap wine? Don't worry, just pop your Lime Crime lipstick in there! The lipstick is sure to keep your secrets wine in the bottle because it fits perfectly and it will threaten to sue if the bottle spills anything!!*


It burns

*May leave a bitter taste to your wine with an undertone of deceit and a hint narcissism

♥ Ignorance!

La la la!! I take no responsibility for my actions!

Plug those lipsticks in your ears to drown out the sound of people complaining and criticizing you, just like you would delete their comments and block them on social media! Bonus tip: shove them in your eye sockets so you are blind to the haterz.

♥ Writing!
Where is the lie? 

Use the lipsticks to write inspirational quotes on your mirror to fuel your narcissism to get you through the day of tearing other people down!! Kawaii.

Subtle!

Just like creating fake profiles to insult others for spreading awareness of your awful history before anything serious happens like, uh, I don't know - a security breach on your dodgy website (how dare they?), write a sweet handwritten note to them with your lipstick! Just make sure you make it very, very obvious that it is definitely not you writing it. They won't have a clue. Dumbasses.

♥ Unicorn horn!
"My own brand of foundation"

Create a unicorn horn from a lipstick by taping it carefully on your head. Call yourself the queen of these mythical beasts and photoshop the shit out of your photos. This will disguise your true form and trick people into thinking you are a glittery, whimsical creature of the forest. Everyone will be so wrapped in the world and image you created that they won't see what is really going on!!

Oh my god it's actually Ursula

Be sure to use some strong ass tape so it doesn't unravel and fuck everything up!!

♥ A Cross!
SINsational!

Create a cross to exorcise the success demons out of your rivals!!

THE POWER OF LIME CRIME COMPELS YOU

♥ Camouflage!
They can't see me under the sparkles!!

Use your lipstick as camouflage to help hide from your responsibilities like buying groceries, cleaning your room, answering phone calls and oh, being CEO of your own company!!

♥ Give the products to friends!
Haha... NOPE

Just kidding!! Friends don't let friends wear Lime Crime - so repackage it and sell it to them at a higher price instead.

That'll be $40, pal
Credit card payment only

Let your friends know that it is made with 100 percent honesty!! If they start to question why the ingredient list mentions 'lies' in the fine print, immediately remove the list from your site and distract them with the thoughts of new shades and even a hair colour range! Give them release dates and fill them will false hope!! If they give you a negative review on your product and service, don't sweat it. Just release personal information and get other people to harass them for you! Who needs friends anyway?