Saturday, January 3, 2015

♥ Bye 2014! ♥

Did you forget I have a blog? Because I did. Temporarily. I haven't been doing anything to post anything and let's be honest - I'm a lazy piece of shit. Apologies!! So I thought I'd sit down and write a blog post kinda recapping 2014 and my hopes and dreamz for 2015 - you know, all that generic blogger stuff. It's okay, I have a bottle of wine with me.

Snapchat evidence

2014 was a very important year for me in terms of personal growth. I did a lot of things I didn't think I could, I learnt a lot about who I am, who I want to be and I've discovered how strong I truly am despite being able to cry over spilt milk. Literally. It's a talent, okay?

At the beginning of the year I completed a certificate II in retail makeup & skincare. It was an awesome and awful experience at the same time. I did enjoy most of it and I met some incredible people there but it made me realise that I don't want to be a makeup artist, at least for now. It kind of sucked my love for it right out of my soul. I suppose it's because I'm not a very studious person by any means and any type of study makes me want to dissolve away. It also made me feel quite empty. Will I ever discover something I'm exceptionally good at? Will I ever find something that I want to *do*? Will I ever even have a career? Will I be something?? Who knows. Makeup is still a passion of mine but I don't see myself being a makeup artist. Maybe this year I will find something! Maybe I won't! Who knows. I'm trying my hardest to stay optimistic either way.

My first real relationship with my high school sweetheart ended as well and I'm not gonna lie - at first, it really fuckin sucked. Partly because he had been my life for three and a half years (which really should not have been the case) and partly because it ended so shittily (yeah that's a word shut up). However, it was actually one of the best things that happened to me that year. I did have so much love for him but I didn't even realise how unhappy I was, even though everyone around me could see it. I was too caught up in trying to hold onto something that wasn't there anymore that I couldn't see how destructive it was. The whole experience helped me grow in so many ways and for that, I'm really grateful.

After my breakup I finally put more energy, time, money and love into myself. I bought my first car and got my learners license (yeah yeah I know I'm like 100 years late). I'm working on strengthening relationships with my friends, family and hopefully make new ones even with my crippling shyness and reclusive tendencies.

2014 was good. It could have been better but it could have been a lot worse. I honestly do not have any expectations for 2015, I don't want to. It's not 'my year', I don't expect it to be the best year of my life at all. I just want to make the most of it, whatever it will be. I want to continue to grow as a person, step out of my comfort zone and actually do things because you can see 2014 wasn't exactly eventful. I can't really remember last week though, so...

We interrupt this boring ass blog post with a 2014 hair colour collage

I've never been one for new year resolutions, goals or being motivated for more than two seconds but this year I am turning 21 (yuck) and it's time to get stheriousth. Sorta. You still have to have fun, right? Right. Good. Here are some things I'd like to work on or do or horribly fail at:

♥ Travel! Anywhere! By plane! I have never actually been on a plane I'm the most boring person you could ever meet. I'd love to go to LA but let's take baby steps. Baby flights.
♥ Remember to put the lids back on my frickin makeup.
♥ Be more optimistic!! Stop being a pessimistic bitch, Courtney. That was cool in 2009. Emo days are ovah.
♥ Hug more. There is never enough hugs.
♥ Probably stop with the cheeseburgers?? (If I'm going to horrible fail at any of these this will be the first.)
♥ Save money!!
♥ Spend more time with friends and family!
♥ Tell those people that I love them!!
♥ Get my shit together!
♥ Get a tattoo!!
♥ Take opportunities and do things even if they literally scare the shit out of me!!! (Don't think too hard about that image!!! Sorry not sorry.)
♥ Remind myself everyday that life is way too short not to be who I want to be.
♥ Clean my room.

I'm pretty excited to see what this year will bring, good or bad! I will hopefully be more active on this blog and be able to come up with content that people would actually like to read hahaha. So if you have read this far, thank you! I hope you all had a fab 2014 and I wish you the best for this year. Life is what you make it. So make it a cheesecake. Or whatever. I'm not too good at being inspirational. Bye!

♥♥♥ Courtney