Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Announcement

Hello cuties!! Sorry I haven't been active on this blog - I just don't have any content ideas and I don't want to post shit for the sake of posting. However I have created a blog for my writing/short stories!


If you are interested this is the link: rosequartzney

Friday, March 20, 2015

♥ Courtney Beth Loves ♥

I love and equally loathe the internet. It's such an amazing way to connect to other people, spread important news, share and inspire - the pros go on and on. Then there are other really shitty ways that people abuse it and it makes me wish I could throw my devices into the toilet, shit on them, move to the woods and never have any human interaction again. But how could I throw away being able to watch a cat video whenever I wanted? Or being able to get a pizza delivered to my front door with the touch of my fingers? Or being able to make people from all around the world laugh with my dumb humour? Or being able to like people's hot selfies to let them know I fully support what they have goin' on? Or being able to keep up with super important discoveries like this? Or more importantly, being able to watch a cat video WHENEVER I WANTED?

I'm feeling a bit down tonight so, in an attempt to cheer me up I thought I'd share some of my current favourite things with you!

It's art you wouldn't understand

Look, I'mma let you finish but berlin-artparasites is definitely, without a doubt my absolute favourite facebook page of ALL TIME. Of all time. If you're friends or follow me on facebook you already know that since I'm constantly sharing their posts. I love art so hard. I especially love art that makes you feel something. I love art that cuts open your chest, crushes your ribcage, rips out your heart, slices it in half and violently smooshes salt into it. IT HURTS SO GOOD.

People who don't understand satire need to be euthanised sorry

A very important cause close to my heart, Christians Against Drugs. They are doing the Lords work and are spreading the message of how evil and dangerous injecting marijuana truly is. Remember, before you can enter heaven, Jesus has to enter you.

Jus make it Reign on me pls

I'm not lying when I say I have watched one of his videos 20 times in a row (and still continue to watch it frequently because it makes me laugh so much). I am so in love with him. He's funny, cute, has the voice of my future husband and that beard thooooo.


This definitely goes without saying but I'm going to say it anyway - Mel Stringer! My favourite artist since I discovered her way back when. She recently drew a pic of me for her Oh You Yearbook which she is currently working on! So excited.

Yaaaaassss

I follow TONS of makeup artists on instagram but these ladies (Caty, Loretta, Sarah) are my favourites - every time I see their photos as I scroll down my feed, I look to the sky and shed a single tear. I quadruple tap those photos. Thank you Universe for these ethereal beings. They are all so unbelievably talented, lovely and super beautiful.

I luv u 5eva

Kendrick Lamar's new album has been on repeat, I love it so much. I just love everything he makes. I love him. Favourite songs are definitely King Kunta & Complexion (A Zulu Love). Go buy it. NOW.

Other favourite songs at the moment are:

Landfill by Daughter
Still by Daughter
In Between by Beartooth
You Haunt Me by Sir Sly (and also the Amtrac Remix)
Too Much Time Together by San Cisco
Cherry Wine by Hozier

God damn I love music. I have so many more songs I love but this post would never end!!

spoopy

This Ouija jacket by Hell Bunny bought from Atomic Cherry.

woops one dollar for the swear jar

This crop top by asos and bought from asos!!

FAV 5EVA

REAL TALK Glam & Gore/Mykie is my fucking favourite make up artist in the entire history of existence. She is knowledgeable, creative, cute as fuck and every one of her videos is filmed amazingly which I really appreciate. I feel like she is so underrated but I will probably always think that since I think so highly of her. She just seems like an all round super super incredible human being. She inspires me in so many ways and if you're not already following her then you're wrong and I hate you.

yessss

My insides melt every time Helen uploads a vlog because I absolutely love them. The way she films them is so much more than what you'd expect from a vlog on youtube. The music, candid shots, details like steam from a kettle UGH YEs so visually pleasing to my eyeballs. Plus she's living my dream life so I'm living through her vlogs lmao. #letsbereal

Other things I'm currently loving:

♥ sushi (always)
♥ the fact that dicksbymail.com exists
♥ my weird faded pastel hair colour that seems to be getting tons of compliments
♥ coconut oil!!
♥ the feeling in the cold breeze that autumn is finally arriving (fuk u summer)
♥ bright, bold lipstick like Nars Schiap! I always seem to forget I own it and fall back in love every time
Tiahn Write (a better blog than mine ever will be)
♥ this super hilarious zine poking fun at beauty mags
♥ Buzzfeed videos!! I have fallen in love with everyone in them
♥ the colour pastel mint
this super amazing facebook page even tho it's not posting any more
♥ aloe vera juice
♥ YOU because you read this far I love you so much

I didn't realise how long it would take to make this post because now it's 3:12am but the upside is is that I'm so damn tired I've forgotten what I was sad about so yay. Feel free to suggest posts you would like to see in the future!!

♥♥♥ Courtney


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

♥ Lime Crime - What Do I Do Now? ♥

If you haven't been blind and living under a heavy pile of honest indie cosmetic brands, you are already well aware of the shit going down with Lime Crime (what's new tho amirite?). I have been following their deplorable business practices for years and years after reading about them on the web. I first discovered and fell in love with Doe Deere after seeing a photo of her. She had a beautiful whimsical, fairytale look that was super endearing to me - and evidently, many others. However, as someone who had zero social life and spent too much time on the internet - it didn't take long for me to find out what was beneath that glittery unicorny front. (Read about it here and here. This post will make more sense if read up on it first!)

I was also someone who was just getting really, really into makeup and the cute sparkly packaging pulled me in. I was well aware of their shady history before purchasing three of their lipsticks - but I wanted to try them myself... aaaand I just wanted to have something as cute as Lime Crime sitting in my tiny collection. After recent incidents, I'm very thankful that I am an impatient bitch and that I bought from an Australian based online store. I regretfully purchased three shades: Babette, Serpentina & Poisonberry. I loved the packaging and I loved the smell... and that was it. The quality of these lipsticks are damn awful. The worst was Babette which was so gross, I ended up giving away. The best was Serpentina but only because it was a unique metallic emerald shade. They were definitely not worth the money and while I was disappointed, I was not shocked.

The fuck is this

So that leads us to the reason for this post! What the fuck do we do with these products now!? Obviously the first thing would be to continue to use them, especially if you had bought them with your hard earned cash. However, if you do not want to support Lime Crime in any way, shape or form even if that means to stop using their products, I have some ideas for you!

♥ Decoration!
Yo dawg I heard you like trash so we put trash in yo trash

Decorate your regular trash with sparkly trash!

♥ Cat toys!

So much fun

Why spend money on cat toys when you can chuck this hard plastic at them? Cats also love burying their shit, this will give them the same pleasure but without the toxic smell!! Everyone wins.

♥ Bottle Cap!
Genius!

Did you drunkenly lose the lid to your seventh bottle of half drunken cheap wine? Don't worry, just pop your Lime Crime lipstick in there! The lipstick is sure to keep your secrets wine in the bottle because it fits perfectly and it will threaten to sue if the bottle spills anything!!*


It burns

*May leave a bitter taste to your wine with an undertone of deceit and a hint narcissism

♥ Ignorance!

La la la!! I take no responsibility for my actions!

Plug those lipsticks in your ears to drown out the sound of people complaining and criticizing you, just like you would delete their comments and block them on social media! Bonus tip: shove them in your eye sockets so you are blind to the haterz.

♥ Writing!
Where is the lie? 

Use the lipsticks to write inspirational quotes on your mirror to fuel your narcissism to get you through the day of tearing other people down!! Kawaii.

Subtle!

Just like creating fake profiles to insult others for spreading awareness of your awful history before anything serious happens like, uh, I don't know - a security breach on your dodgy website (how dare they?), write a sweet handwritten note to them with your lipstick! Just make sure you make it very, very obvious that it is definitely not you writing it. They won't have a clue. Dumbasses.

♥ Unicorn horn!
"My own brand of foundation"

Create a unicorn horn from a lipstick by taping it carefully on your head. Call yourself the queen of these mythical beasts and photoshop the shit out of your photos. This will disguise your true form and trick people into thinking you are a glittery, whimsical creature of the forest. Everyone will be so wrapped in the world and image you created that they won't see what is really going on!!

Oh my god it's actually Ursula

Be sure to use some strong ass tape so it doesn't unravel and fuck everything up!!

♥ A Cross!
SINsational!

Create a cross to exorcise the success demons out of your rivals!!

THE POWER OF LIME CRIME COMPELS YOU

♥ Camouflage!
They can't see me under the sparkles!!

Use your lipstick as camouflage to help hide from your responsibilities like buying groceries, cleaning your room, answering phone calls and oh, being CEO of your own company!!

♥ Give the products to friends!
Haha... NOPE

Just kidding!! Friends don't let friends wear Lime Crime - so repackage it and sell it to them at a higher price instead.

That'll be $40, pal
Credit card payment only

Let your friends know that it is made with 100 percent honesty!! If they start to question why the ingredient list mentions 'lies' in the fine print, immediately remove the list from your site and distract them with the thoughts of new shades and even a hair colour range! Give them release dates and fill them will false hope!! If they give you a negative review on your product and service, don't sweat it. Just release personal information and get other people to harass them for you! Who needs friends anyway?

Sunday, January 11, 2015

♥ Update & Current Favs ♥

Hello kittens,

I'm in the mood to write a blog post even though I have nothing specific to talk about. It's 12:23 in the morning, I have work at 9, My Chemical Romance playing in the background to feed my teen angst and a headache from eating too many sour skittles. Perfect blog writing conditions, right? Not really, I'm a weirdo. I thought I'd do a lil update and my current favourite things! So basically I'm just talking shit, nothing new. Firstly I want to apologise for my previous posts. A lot of the photos are broken and I'm working on how to fix and prevent it. It's super discouraging and frustrating. I'm a lazy perfectionist, meaning that if something isn't perfect without any effort I will give up straight away (my highschool grades reflect that - except I did well English and Film & TV - just natural talent I guess *sassy hair flip*). I kind of want to set my laptop on fire, not gonna lie. Fire is always the solution.

I got my hair did two days ago! I am super super in love with it, I literally have 1000 selfies already. It's a stunning vibrant pinky magenta shade. I don't even know, it's just really great and makes me feel super happy. It's stained my pillow cases, skin and heart. *single tear*

Squeeee
Before & after (makeup as well duh) I realise that I look like a swollen half potato/half toddler without makeup and yes I have been pulling my brow hair out because I'm an idiot. Praise the dipdip.

dis is y u take a girl swimmin 4 the 1st date huehuehue

If you reverse my before and after, it looks like an anti-drug campaign. Meth is one hell of a drug. Not even once. Just a lil disclaimer: I just know some people are going to look at that and think ermergeerdd she's so fake, how deceptive, instant boner killer etc etc but I don't wear makeup for anyone but myself. It's a creative outlet, it's therapeutic, it helps me feel like I could kill a man and get away with it - I mean, what? To be honest, the before isn't even my true form. I am actually a slimy serpent from the underworld. Now that that is out of the way, let's get back to being a vain and appreciating my skillz.

werk
Mirror selfies with a note 3 is not practical
still kawaii tho
do u feel it now mr. krabs??

Another really really important thing happened - a cat came up to me outside of the salon and nuzzled my face. When a cat immediately likes you, you feel chosen. You feel like you have just been knighted by the queen. You feel like your soul has transcended time and space. I know it's only the 11th of January but this will probably be the highlight of my year.

this makes me so emotional

Not much else has happened, I live an extraordinary ordinary life. I pretty much work, sleep, eat and internet. I'm looking forward to celebrating my good friend Emma's 21st and also going on a cruise with my sister later this month!! As usual, I'm stressing over what I'm going to wear hahaha. I will have a massive post about my cruise experience so look out for that!

♥ ♥ ♥ Current favourite things ♥ ♥ ♥

Music:
♥ Take Me To Church by Hozier
♥ Freaks by Timmy Trumpet & Savage
♥ Heart of Glass by Blondie
♥ Too Little Too Late by Metric
♥ My Number by Foals
♥ Ah Yeah So What by Wiley & Elen Levon
♥ i by Kendrick Lamar
♥ Sundream by Rufus

Beauty:
♥ Smashbox Studio skin (I even love it more than Double Wear!)

♥ Stila Stay All Day eyeliner (forever)
♥ Sukin eye serum
♥ Senscience Moisture Lock
♥ Flora by Gucci
♥ Nars Audacious lipstick in Claudia
♥ Nars velvet matte lip pencil in Roman Holiday
♥ Too Faced perfect flush blush in Candy Glow

Misc:
♥ Yoosh Aloe Vera drink!!
♥ probably going to be shot for this but pewdiepie!
♥ iflscience.com
♥ my new bag which I don't have a good photo of but it's cute trust me
♥ @baconcup the cat on instagram
♥ the colour pink
♥ this unicorn blood mug I bought!!

♥ all the positive, loving people in my life off and on the internet
♥ cute boys
♥ cute girls
♥ people who take their precious time to read my stupid blog

It's 2:06am in the morning and I regret everything.

♥♥♥ Courtney

Saturday, January 3, 2015

♥ Bye 2014! ♥

Did you forget I have a blog? Because I did. Temporarily. I haven't been doing anything to post anything and let's be honest - I'm a lazy piece of shit. Apologies!! So I thought I'd sit down and write a blog post kinda recapping 2014 and my hopes and dreamz for 2015 - you know, all that generic blogger stuff. It's okay, I have a bottle of wine with me.

Snapchat evidence

2014 was a very important year for me in terms of personal growth. I did a lot of things I didn't think I could, I learnt a lot about who I am, who I want to be and I've discovered how strong I truly am despite being able to cry over spilt milk. Literally. It's a talent, okay?

At the beginning of the year I completed a certificate II in retail makeup & skincare. It was an awesome and awful experience at the same time. I did enjoy most of it and I met some incredible people there but it made me realise that I don't want to be a makeup artist, at least for now. It kind of sucked my love for it right out of my soul. I suppose it's because I'm not a very studious person by any means and any type of study makes me want to dissolve away. It also made me feel quite empty. Will I ever discover something I'm exceptionally good at? Will I ever find something that I want to *do*? Will I ever even have a career? Will I be something?? Who knows. Makeup is still a passion of mine but I don't see myself being a makeup artist. Maybe this year I will find something! Maybe I won't! Who knows. I'm trying my hardest to stay optimistic either way.

My first real relationship with my high school sweetheart ended as well and I'm not gonna lie - at first, it really fuckin sucked. Partly because he had been my life for three and a half years (which really should not have been the case) and partly because it ended so shittily (yeah that's a word shut up). However, it was actually one of the best things that happened to me that year. I did have so much love for him but I didn't even realise how unhappy I was, even though everyone around me could see it. I was too caught up in trying to hold onto something that wasn't there anymore that I couldn't see how destructive it was. The whole experience helped me grow in so many ways and for that, I'm really grateful.

After my breakup I finally put more energy, time, money and love into myself. I bought my first car and got my learners license (yeah yeah I know I'm like 100 years late). I'm working on strengthening relationships with my friends, family and hopefully make new ones even with my crippling shyness and reclusive tendencies.

2014 was good. It could have been better but it could have been a lot worse. I honestly do not have any expectations for 2015, I don't want to. It's not 'my year', I don't expect it to be the best year of my life at all. I just want to make the most of it, whatever it will be. I want to continue to grow as a person, step out of my comfort zone and actually do things because you can see 2014 wasn't exactly eventful. I can't really remember last week though, so...

We interrupt this boring ass blog post with a 2014 hair colour collage




I've never been one for new year resolutions, goals or being motivated for more than two seconds but this year I am turning 21 (yuck) and it's time to get stheriousth. Sorta. You still have to have fun, right? Right. Good. Here are some things I'd like to work on or do or horribly fail at:

♥ Travel! Anywhere! By plane! I have never actually been on a plane I'm the most boring person you could ever meet. I'd love to go to LA but let's take baby steps. Baby flights.
♥ Remember to put the lids back on my frickin makeup.
♥ Be more optimistic!! Stop being a pessimistic bitch, Courtney. That was cool in 2009. Emo days are ovah.
♥ Hug more. There is never enough hugs.
♥ Probably stop with the cheeseburgers?? (If I'm going to horrible fail at any of these this will be the first.)
♥ Save money!!
♥ Spend more time with friends and family!
♥ Tell those people that I love them!!
♥ Get my shit together!
♥ Get a tattoo!!
♥ Take opportunities and do things even if they literally scare the shit out of me!!! (Don't think too hard about that image!!! Sorry not sorry.)
♥ Remind myself everyday that life is way too short not to be who I want to be.
♥ Clean my room.

I'm pretty excited to see what this year will bring, good or bad! I will hopefully be more active on this blog and be able to come up with content that people would actually like to read hahaha. So if you have read this far, thank you! I hope you all had a fab 2014 and I wish you the best for this year. Life is what you make it. So make it a cheesecake. Or whatever. I'm not too good at being inspirational. Bye!

♥♥♥ Courtney




Monday, November 17, 2014

♥ Bewdy Tipz & Trix to survive this Aussie Summer! ♥

♥ Forget this minimal makeup bb cream only mascara basic as heck wishy washy. Wear as much makeup as you want to. Don't let summer stop you from caking on your face as per usual. Werk that thick foundation and winged eyeliner. Just make sure you are wearing a very high spf underneath to protect your precious flesh from sizzling like a snag under the Aussie satan sun. Don't let those demonic UV rays penetrate your pores. Australia has the highest rate of skin cancer in the entire world!!

Fuck you Summer

♥ Make sure you cover your entire body in sunscreen! The last thing you need is the sun messing up your perfect pale pasty complexion. You worked so hard all winter staying inside and perfecting your moon tan. My favourite is Neutrogena's UltraSheer body mist which is an Spf of 50!! It's cold and amazing and I'm constantly spraying it all over my body just for the heck of it.

This hurt my groin

♥ Spf needs to be reapplied every few hours to stay effective!! Since you have your caked face on, this isn't practical at all. Did you know that 95 to 99 percent of skin cancers are caused by the sun?? Stay inside at all times and hiss at any sunlight that threatens your existence. Reject invitations to the beach and pray for those people. Find the darkest, coldest corner in your house and set up camp. You're going to be there for a while.

Seriously fuck off

♥ Stay hydrated!! Make water your bff this summer (since your friends have stopped bothering inviting you out). Water also helps improve your overall health and the appearance of your skin. Staying hydrated prevents death. My biggest tip for surviving summer is: don't die.

Water tastes better from a novelty cup
Water tastes better when it's vodka

♥ To keep cool I like to chill my Mac Fix+ spray and spray it all over my melting flesh as I stand in front of the open fridge. Drown out your mum's nagging about wasting electricity by louding humming the Australian anthem. If she continues, spray her in the face aggressively. Chill out, ma.

GIRT BY HEAT AND HEAT

♥ After recovering from being backhanded by your parents, take a cold shower. Since I have coloured hair I use colour safe shampoo and conditioner. I also use this Vitafive CPR reconstruct spray over damp hair to protect my hair and colour from heat, UV and even chlorine!! This is a must.

werk

♥ Keep your lips soft and cute by constantly applying lip balm every two seconds. Continue your conversation as you apply the lip balm. Think of it as a light snack if you happen to get any on your teeth!!

delish

♥ Don't be ashamed of your bright red heat rash that people mistake for a stop sign. Throw some gold glitter on it and werk, bitch.

yaaas

♥ Achieve that sought after dewy skin look with your own perspiration!! Let your sweat seep through your skin and foundation for that natural, glowy effect that will have people staring in awe.

Kill me

♥ Replace your morning coffee with a icy cold beer!! It's already too fucking hot to live so throw back a four X!! This is acceptable behaviour because STRAYA. It's also 'natural lime' flavour so it's fruit!! Fruit is healthy!! Natural! LIME.

8 am and I want to die

♥ Get into the spirit of summer by wearing a bright bold lip!!

I am dead inside

♥ Aggressively reject summer by dressing for the season you really want!! This may lead to heat stroke and hospitalization but at least you look cute!!

Take me to this mystical 'snow'

♥ When you're trying to sleep at night but it's too fucking hot and you're drowning in your own sweat, cry without tears!! This way you get to release your emotion without losing any more liquids!

WHEN WILL IT END

♥ Live on ice cream, smear it all over your naked bod for that sweet sweet relief. Anyone who judges you needs to be removed from your life immediately. You don't need that kind of negativity.

Creaming Vanilla posing with ice cream

♥ Listen to Summertime Sadness on repeat and wallow in your sweaty misery!! Fun times!

Summertime Death Wish

♥ Lie down, try not to cry, cry a lot

no

♥ Wear as minimal clothing as possible or even better - none at all. If it's still too hot, just peel off layers of skin!! Super easy, effective way of staying cooled down in this disgusting heat.

get it off

Bonus tipz & trix!

(!) Stay away from people as much as possible!! They emit heat and will make you suffer with their presence!

(♥) Fun activity: lie a tarp down in your backyard and slide down it with your own sweat!! Lube up more with some dish washing liquid! Fun for the whole sweaty family!!!

(!) Body odour is a real issue in public!! Shove ice cubes up your nostrils.

(♥) Remove all contents from your freezer and sit in it. Isolate yourself... or should I say... icesolate yourself???

We all know what is responsible for this heat wave... Satan, our prime minister.

I hope you all have a great summer!! Remember the best way to survive is not dying! Stay cool.

♥♥♥ Courtney